Ticket That!!

OK. The pinhole experiment will be blogged soon, promise. But today I have something else on my mind.


How many times do you read an employment vacant advertisement that states something along the lines of:

· Must be able to work on own initiative as well as being an effective team player.
· Must have good communication skills and be able to work in a stressful environment.
· Must possess a good sense of humour and be able to work under pressure
· Must have experience of dealing with the general public in sometimes difficult situations

I could go on, but I think you get the picture. My gripe today is with people who take on jobs, which although they may be thankless, require all of the above personality traits. In fact, I have recently seen advertisements for this particular job which did indeed state the need for the above qualities.

What characteristics does a person require to work with children do you think? Patience, understanding, compassion?

What about working in accounts? Good numerical skills, understanding of manual/computerised accounts system, ability to work under pressure maybe, experience to Trial Balance and P&L even.

So what qualities do you think you require to be a traffic warden? Precisely. All of those I mentioned at the top. In reality though, what kind of person actually applies to fill the vacancy advertised for a traffic warden?

You can expect a daily chapter of abuse by the poor sods who couldn’t find anywhere to park for 10 minutes because the town is being redeveloped and there are a serious lack of car parking spaces. You should expect, unless you are a total fool, that you will be faced daily with verbal abuse from the poor souls who thought they could ‘get away with it’ and then found out they couldn't.

Do you have to have a certain ‘Sense of what is right and fair’ or do you just need a good dose of ‘I don’t give a shit, you shouldn’t be parked there and that’s another ticket towards my weekly goal’??

I’m sure all of the above happen many times over in a day, and a traffic warden should expect it. That doesn’t mean that’s it is right, or fair, they are only doing their job after all, but I fail to see how they ever expect to do their jobs without the public hatred for their uniform and what they stand for. That said, I can understand that they would get pretty pi**ed off with it, and pretty thick skinned to it all.

So tell me. Where do they leave their sense of humours in the morning? Do they put them in their lockers at work for fear of losing them if they took them out onto the streets? Maybe they are just afraid if they take them out on duty with them they will wear them out! Do they even have one at all?

A little story for you.

Last Sunday, after football, everyone was in the pub as usual, playing cards and darts and generally having a laugh. G, along with a few of the others, had drunk a few pints, and were pretty cheerful, shall we say!

One of the guys spotted a young lad walking along the precinct outside with blue, and I mean really blue, pointy hair and he shouted out “That’s a really bad hair do” and the rest of the lads all rushed to the large window to look, and then laughed as they spotted this young lad entering the shop opposite the pub. As he emerged, G thought it would be funny to open the pub door and shout this across the street at the guy, who incidentally thought it pretty amusing too and walked of down the street chuckling to himself.

Next victim was a young guy, who was with what appeared to be his girlfriend, in a hat, which was perfectly ordinary, but G had set the scene with the first guy and was on a roll…

“That’s a really BAD hat fella” he yelled across the road, to fits of laughter from inside the pub. They were incorrigible, and they all knew that if they kept laughing, G would keep performing!!!
Another couple of innocent victims chuckled and giggled their way down the road, their day made lighter by this amusing little interlude with the semi drunk guy at the pub.

Next up… the traffic wardens. As always, in twos, they were busy writing a ticket for the car illegally parked across the street on double yellow lines.

“That’s a really BAD hat fella” came the call from the pub doorway. Nothing. No hint of a smile. No recognition of having heard. Big mistake.

“That’s a REALLY BAD hat fella” G repeated. Still nothing, nought, zilch, dada.

So, never one to give in easily, G lay down on the double yellow lines right outside the pub and said;

“Stick a ticket on me then”

The whole of the football team was gathered around the window, unable to control themselves and the laughter must have been heard across the street. Still no reaction, no recognition that G was even there. They just continued to write their tickets.

G came back inside and continued his game of darts that was half way through. The traffic wardens continued with their duties, and were visible from the pub window for another 10-15 minutes at least, slapping tickets on anything in sight, except my hubby!!!!

Four days later, four days, the pub landlady was telephoned by the police. The traffic wardens had made an official report about what had happened. They had written everything down word for word and put it in their report, stating that they had felt threatened by this mans behaviour. Tomorrow, the police are visiting the landlady at the pub in an official capacity to make a report on the complaint filed by the traffic wardens.

What the f**k is the country coming to? How could they feel threatened? He never approached them. He never swore at them. He said very little, and it was said with a laugh. If they felt threatened why did they not call for backup there and then? If they felt threatened why did it take them four days to file a complaint?

No wonder to police say they can’t respond to misdemeanours like poultry theft, they are too bloody busy dealing with complaints from jumped up officials who left their sense of humours at home.

OK, gripe over.