The Age 'Old' Question

I always used to say that I would worry about getting old when I was older.

But how will I know when I'm 'older' and older than what anyway? I have never furnished this thought with sufficient time before now to consider an answer to the question.

So what is the definition of 'old' and at what age does it strike?

As an adolescent I thought:

A person of 30 was old.
One of 40 was just about past their sell by date.
At 50 you were really past your usefulness to any living human being.
By 60, well what the heck were you still around for at 60?

You had no place, by the great age of 60, in which you slotted into any category that could be mistaken for one of purpose. You could not possibly have a sense of humour at that age, you are much to crotchety because you have endured too many hardships whilst travelling down the road of life. Parts of your body are beginning to fail, you complain of aches and pains, comment that you don't see so well, everybody around you knows you don't hear so well, I SAID EVERYBODY AROUND YOU... oh forget it, you probably still won't hear.

By my early 30's my perception of 'old' had changed:

As an adolescent - you know nothing, so let's not pretend otherwise.
At 30, you are in your prime.
At 40 you have a world of knowledge and experience, and the ability to enjoy life to the max.
At 50... well, I don't even want to think about it, maybe that is old.

At a fast approaching 40 my thoughts have altered to:

As an adolescent - you can be rude, obnoxious and you know nothing, so let's not pretend otherwise.
At 30, you are still young.
At 40, you are in your prime.
At 50 you may only be half way through your life, with the better, more well informed half life still to come.
At 60, it's time to kick back and do all those things that you never had time to do whilst working for the last 40 years or more.


So, how OLD is OLD? I do not believe that any age is 'old', but that age is measured purely by the perception of the person answering the question.

There is a saying that "Age is merely a state of mind" and this I believe with all my heart. I always maintain that I am young for my age. What I mean when I say this is that inside, I feel no differently now to the way I felt when I was 16. It is merely the passing of time, the maturing of mind and the responsibilities we take on in life that stop us from doing those things we did as teenagers.

In my heart I would still like to:

• Engrave my initials next to those of my husband in the bark of a tree.
• Take the plug out of the bottom of a salt cellar in the cafe and watch from the next table as the waitress moves it to wipe the table clean.
• Run full pelt down the supermarket isle with the trolley and then, leaning over the handle, take my feet off the ground and glide down the remainder of the isle (ok, so I still do this on occasions, the last time was last week!)
• To go skating across the frozen pond in the park with no fear of the ice cracking and me taking a sudden, icy bath.
• To go scrumping, whether it be for apples or for some other delicious goodies (I once got caught by the farmer trying to take a corn-on-the-cob)
• To go on the swing in the park and have a race with a friend to see who could go the highest before you bottled out for fear of going right over the top bar
• With the same friend, see who could jump off the swing whilst still going higher than the other one
• Play my music as loud as the stereo would go, especially if there is a lot of base, regardless of who else is in the house, or the house next door, or the one across the road..
• To go to the club till 2am... on a mid-week night.
• Pull a sickie from work, for no reason other than I had been down the club till 2 in the morning, and I just couldn't be asked to get my backside outta bed

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time.

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." Rita Mae Brown

A visitor to a mental asylum, studying the 'age old question' and the effects that life has on ones mental well-being asked the Director what the criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than both the spoon and the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"