My Interview

OK. I have been interviewed by the lovely Miss Understood, so here are the questions:

1) Single women…the ones who never seem to be able to find the right man…often envy their married friends and the lifestyle they lead. The company, someone to love and support them, someone to just curl up with on the sofa, someone to take them to B&Q or bring them a cup of tea in bed. Do you, or have you ever wished that you were single? Even just fleetingly? If so, what were the circumstances?

Absolutely I have, but it has only ever been fleetingly.

It is my nature, possibly a maternal trait, to put myself last in the pecking order of family life, whether that be what to have for dinner, or making time for something important to me etc. I cannot take care of my own needs until I am happy that everyone else's needs have been met.

Many times in the early years of my marriage I wished that I was single. Singledom would mean NOT having to be answerable to anyone but yourself, NOT putting myself last everytime, NOT having to consider 4 other people everytime I wanted to slip out, and singledom also would have meant being able to grab 10 minutes to myself whenever I needed. These thoughts were always fleeting, as the very thought of not being with G, made me immediately grateful that I wasn't single. (I know, I know, here's the sick bucket... do try not to overfill it!!!)

2) Is there anything that you still want to achieve or do during your time on this earth? If you were given a death sentence tomorrow, would you feel satisfied that you’ve led a happy and fulfilled life?

The one thing I would most like to achieve I guess is to run my own business, successfully. I aim to make that happen, and in the not too distant future too.

If I was given a death sentence tomorrow? I guess I could make a big long list about how this part of my life was unhappy or that part was not fulfilling, couldn't we all. At the end of the day, I would leave this world satisfied that I have raised 3 wonderful children of whom I am extremely proud. They have grown into lovely young adults with good manners, good sense of humours and they know right from wrong. They are all hard working members of the community, never expecting that they can sit on their backsides and the world will owe them a living. They have very strong family values and if I never achieve anything else whilst still here on earth, I will die a happy woman.

3) Do you ever worry about getting old? How do you feel about the way you look? How confident/happy are you with your body image compared to 20 years ago?

This feels like you're cheating Laney..lol... this is definitely 3 questions right here... !!!!

i) Age - I worry often about getting old. I get aches and pains in places that 5 years ago I wasn't even aware of!!! I hate the thought of becoming incapacitated when I am old, of not being able to care for myself. At least if the mind goes first, you don't know what you're missing... hang on a sec... I think my mind already went!!

ii) Looks - I'm pretty happy with the way I look now, clothed at least. The last few years, while finding life more than a little difficult to cope with, I let my weight run away with itself. Last May, I decided enough was enough and joined Weight Watchers. Since then I have lost 36 lbs and have only 4½ lb to go to goal.

iii) Compared to 20 years ago - Well me stomachs gone south, my boobs too, the eyes have bigger bags, and the grey has just started to creep in. The flexible bits are not so flexible and the curvy bits are more like detours in comparison, but what the heck.

4) Is there a secret to having a successful marriage? Has your happiness with G come naturally, or do you think you both had to make sacrifices for it to have worked and lasted so long?

There's no secret, it's a cliche, but you have to work at it.

My happiness with G was not always so strong. In the early days, it was quite stormy sometimes. It would be unfair of me to describe specifics when he has no means of reply, but in the end it boils down to one question. Do you want to be together?

If both parties really want it to work and really love the other, and both partners can talk calmly and openly about what they want and what upsets them then I don't see that it's a question of 'sacrificing' ........

A strange analysis:

You know that if you were to put your white shirt in the washing machine with a brand new red shirt, the white shirt is gonna be pretty pi**ed off when it comes out pink. Come to that, you'd be pretty peeved too, so what do you do?

You don't decide to put them in together anyway and sod the consequence do you?

You don't decide to just not bother washing the red shirt either ....

You just wash them seperately, you 'adjust' the way you wash them but you still wash them.

Marriage is pretty much like that.......it's not a question of 'sacrificing' ........ it's more a question of 'adjusting'

5) If you could spend a day photographing any person in the world, who would it be and why?

Oh gosh, this is a tough one. Who would I choose. I am tempted to say... nah, the bucket is probably already full from question one!!! So who. I'm allowed to photograph anyone right! OK, seriously.

I would photograph you Laney. I would love to spend the morning being able to rummage through your wardrobe and have a fashion shoot with you, a fun, playful shoot. Then in the afternoon I would love to photograph some extremely tasteful glamour shots, something gorgeous, in a soft diffused light. I might even split the profits with you!!! lol