Thought for the Week

"A hug is a perfect gift - one size fits all and nobody minds if you give it back."
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Sums it Up

This just about sums up my week.

Jumped in the shower, washed body, washed hair, shaved underarms.

Johnsons Silk & Shave, or whatever its called, all down my legs, razor in hand.

Gently shaving every inch, of my .. ouch! Shite, beggar, feck, blood. Drip

Try to finish shaving before the shower tray turns red. Gently, gen ... OUCH!! Damn, shitebuggerfeckinhell. More blood. Drip, drip.

Get out, towel dry. Drip blood on the mat. Grrr. Use wet tissue over the cuts, and make it to the bedroom.

What to put on? Too early for night clothes. Decide on skirt and t-shirt, quick squirt of deodorant... OUCH, OUCH, tears in eyes, grabs towel, rubs vigourously under arms. You stupid fecking betch.

Newly shaved armpits and hairspray do NOT mix, let me tell you.

16 comments:

Elaine Denning said...

LMFAO!!

Ali...what the hell did you clean your teeth with?

God. Have I really got to share a room with you?

Hope you're feeling better sweetie. x

(We need to come up with some other words, which aren't sweetie, babe or hun.)

Hope you're feeling better.....
...um..... erm......uh.....sexy.

Did that work?

xx

Ali said...

Laney ~ It was one of those "I don't bloody believe I did that!! I have so got to blog it" moments!!

I'm getting there um... erm... uh... sexy.

Hugs x

Cherrie said...

I'll bet you had white towels out, too.

Don't lose too much blood!

Ali said...

Cherrie ~ the razor cuts didn't hurt half as much as the hairspray!!!

IT Barman said...

PMSL

I have done it the other way round before and sprayed deodorant in my hair, it was a bad morning

Ali said...

IT ~ LOL. At least you would have smelt nice all day!!

ellie said...

Poor Ali *hugs*
At least you realised what you had done, I sprayed the hairspray on my armpits and got dressed, half-way to work wondered why my top was stuck fast to my skin!
I use roller ball deodorant now, less chance of a mix up!
There is a joke in there somewhere and I bet Mike finds it!

Charlie said...

Yowzers. Im feeling the pain from here!

Mike said...

LMAO - I squirted hairspray under my arms once..... Just like to add I hadn't shaved my armpits before hand.

Ali said...

Ellie ~ I may have to try rollerballs, and I'll wait for Mikes joke before I say anymore!!

Charlie ~ It's good to share, even if it is pain!! Thx for dropping by.

Mike ~ But why did you have hairspray in the first place?? huh

Mike said...

Yes Ellie there is a joke there. Ready?

Swedish Chemist Shop - (think of the accent). "I would like to buy some deodorant please." "Certainly sir, aerosol (sounds a bit like arse hole) or ball?" "Neither, I'd like it for my armpits."

Sorry folks.

Mike said...

Ali, if I could have afforded a "his and hers" bathroom the situation would never have arisen. Once again it's the women to blame ;)

Unknown said...

ouch!

mrsnesbitt said...

Joke...
Chap goes to a chemist..."I'd like some deodarant"
Shop assistant..
"Certainly...Sir, Ball type?"
Chap"No. Just for under my arms!"

LOL

Vanity dear, all will pay!

Ali said...

Mike ~ Now don't make excuses, come on, I bet you thought hairspray would eliminate that 'helmet hair' didn't you...lol

Pauline ~ ouch, was the first thought, very quickly followed by some expletives!!

Denise ~ I have a body spray and a hair product that are in identical containers, one is red and white and the other is white and red.. sooooo many times I have nearly mixed them up!

PS: I think Mike already told your joke, what a spoil sport he is!

Mike said...

Damn, I've been foiled.