SOS Earthquake Appeal

Still suffering from a severe lack of time to write, I thought I would cop out and share this email with you all that my daughter sent me following the earthquake in Folkestone last Saturday....

IT Barman, I just know, being a local, you are going to find it as funny as I did, but I hope it gives the rest of my readers a bit of light relief too.

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit in the morning of Saturday 28 April.

Epicentre: off the Kent coast, near Folkestone.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "bleedin 'ell" and "gor'nbennett" The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementoes from the Balearics, Spanish Costas and the local market were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived.

Radio Kent News reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Folkestone. One resident - Tracy Sharon
Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said

"It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came runnin' into my bedroom cryin'. My younges' two, Ashley 'n' Brooklyn, slep' froo it all. I was still shakin' when I was watchin' Trisha later that mornin'."

Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal. Rescue workers found one girl in the rubble smothered in blood;

"Where are you bleeding from?" they asked her.
"Bleedin' Dartford," said the girl "woss that gotta do wiv it?"

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewelry from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include:

Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), shell suits (female), white sport socks, Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, £2.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9, £5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of neighbouring areas of Dover, Deal and Sandwich.

Much of this made me giggle, but the last part, about the posh housing... had me in fits!!! I was going to apologise in advance in case I offended anyone who was reading this that actually lived in Dover, Deal or Sandwich, but then I thought:
'If you live there, you MUST have a sense of humour, so there is nothing to apologise for!!!'