Losing the Link

Is an object with sentimental value any less valuable to the owner than an object which was purchased for 10 times the amount?

As one of those people who put more emphasis on family, friends and non materialistic things in life, I too have one or two material items which have a far, far greater value to me than their monetary worth. This picture, that I took for a 26things entry in March is one of those items.

I was unfortunate to lose my father when I was just 28, 12 years ago. It was unexpected and a very traumatic time for me and my family. The legal side took some time to complete. Partly due to the fact that he died intestate, and partly because he was, at the time, acting as the executor of my Nan's will who had died a few months earlier, and this had not been legally finalised. That job, eventually, then fell to us too.

Once all the formalities were done and dusted. I fell apart.

I brought this ring with some of the money that I inherited from Dad, and it has been on my finger almost every single hour, of every single day since then. To me, it was a constant reminder of him. The last link I had to a father I loved dearly. Maybe we put too much emphasis on these things in our life, but it was my way of having him with me, always. The last, the final, precious gift from him to me.

Last month I lost the ring.

I was distraught.

I went home, in tears, and told G what had happened. Then he began to search. Bless him.

He began with the obvious - moving cushions, hands down the sides of the sofa, under covers and pillows. He lifted the top end of the mattress and felt around the underneath of the bed. He told me to check the pockets of everything I had worn the last couple of days, my handbag and the washing basket.

I walked into the kitchen, and there he was, head stuck under the sink, removing the trap to check for misplaced rings. Next time I looked he was draining the filter on the washing machine, and checking nothing had been lodged there. He didn't find my ring, but he did come across my sons front door key, the key he was adamant I still had and that I had sworn I gave back to him!!! lol.

I carried on, like a demented chicken, checking my handbag, then re-checking, just in case I missed it the first time I entered the entire contents of the house out of it across the dining room table. I rechecked everywhere I could think of.

Finally, out of ideas, and certain that it was gone forever, I caught site of G, on his hands and knees on the kitchen floor, newspaper layed out infront of him, and the contents of the vacuum cleaner spread across it. There he was, working his way through the dust, fluff and hair balls in search of my most precious possession.

Now how's that for love?

This isn't one of those happy ever after stories, unfortunately. The ring never did turn up, and although I was very sad about it, I was determined it wasn't going to drag me down. What's gone is gone and there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it. (This for me, was a milestone in itself, but that's another story).

Lots of people, trying to offer their help, told me to claim on my insurance for it. I explained that I really didn't care about the money side of it. It was my last link with Dad, a special, sentimental piece of jewellery and that I couldn't ever replace it. They didn't seem to understand, but I knew how I felt.

Then about a week later, a good friend of mine said the same thing. When I explained the sentimental value of it and that I couldn't replace it he looked me straight in the eye and asked:

"Did Dad give you the ring?"

"No, I bought it with the money he left me" I replied.

"Exactly! So claim on the insurance and replace the money your Dad left you." he said. "You can buy another ring, or you could buy something completely unrelated, it'll still be from your Dad because you will have replaced exactly what you got from him, the money"

It made so much sense. The first time it had. So I phoned the insurance company up and I now have up to £500 to spend on another ring.

I am in the wonderful position at the moment, of looking for the one I want to buy.

I am still wondering "Do we put too much emphasis on these things in our life"?